I can’t believe after eight hundred years I still have to do this. My name is Eustace, but you’ve probably only ever heard me referred to as Dracula or maybe the Count? The stories about me range from turning into a bat to being allergic to garlic, and there’s still some debate surrounding if I’m a billionaire playboy. Then of course there’s the blood sucking thing. Well, unfortunately, that was true in the middle ages, but I’ve since perfected a synthetic blend that you can buy in a store, but for legal reasons, I can’t tell you the name. So, why am I telling you all of this? Because although I’ve spent my life watching my name and image be used in ways I could not believe, I have a soft spot for humans and you all are in serious trouble.